17th Dec2008

Bleh.

by The Boss

Have I mentioned that I am sick? I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat and more mucus than a person should ever have. I’m really sorry for saying mucus, but you really need to get the full picture here. I felt like CRAP.

Sunday consisted of me sitting on my couch, watching movies, and doing nothing. I drank hot tea and ate chicken soup that I had made on Saturday. I yelled at the kids to stop doing whatever they were doing with what voice I could conjur up. I tried to make them be perfectly still because if they even thought about moving it annoyed me. Needless to say, I was annoyed all day. I’m very irrational when I don’t feel well.

Anyway, I thought I would be better by now. I’ve taken so much Nyquil, and it hasn’t really done anything. A family member told me to drink some moonshine. He said it’d give me a hangover, but I would be better. I don’t know what kind of connections he thinks I have, but I don’t know the local moonshine guys.

I’m going to rest today and eat lots of garlic. That way when I attempt to go Christmas shopping tonight, all I will have to do to get people out of my way is breathe on them. Fighting off infection and evil shoppers all with one stone.

On another note, if you haven’t nominated your favorite funny blog yet, you need to. I will need you all to vote soon.

Category : Memoirs
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23rd Nov2008

Puking, Super Powers, and Boot Camp.

by The Boss

I woke up to the sound of Aidan screaming this morning. I jumped from bed, and ran toward her room, but I found her in the family room floor…puking. I really wasn’t surprised, her scream gave it away. Scream interpretation is a super power you get when you become a parent. That way, you know if it’s worth stopping what you’re doing to go intervene.

It’s music to my ears when Aidan asks me how I know everything. She was telling my mom about this super power of mine last week. My mom responded with, “Yes, that’s because Mommy has eyes in the back of her head.” I knew then I was going to be up all night showing Aidan that the back of my head, had no eyes. She’s still not convinced.

Today Ben was offering me a cup of coffee. He had bought a different kind and told me to expect a “bolder flavor.” I guess I gave him a look that said, “How dare you change the coffee without asking me!” Because he said, “You don’t like change!” Of course I argued with him. Then Aidan said, “Mommy, I like change!” Then she said, “Mommy, what’s change?”

The past few days I have realized that I am raising a lazy son. When it’s time for Andrew to put his shoes on, he just lay’s down in the floor and puts his hands behind his head. Then, because he’s so considerate, he raises his foot in the air so I can put his shoes on for him. Today we were looking at a toy catalog and he was telling me about all the toys on the pages. Suddenly I realized that his hands were behind his head, and he was telling me when to turn the page. He starts boot camp tomorrow.

I may puke. I am going to bed.

Category : The Children
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