21st Apr2009

One…Two…Three…

by The Boss

Do you count to 3 when you’re trying to get your children to obey you? Someone was asking me this yesterday. I’ve tried this strategy…maybe twice since I’ve had children. Both times went exactly the same way.

“Clean your room!”

“We’re playing robots!”

“You need to clean your room”

“OK”

::5 minutes later::

“Clean. Your. Room.”

Everyone starts crying, “It’s not faaaaaiiiiirrrrr!”

I start counting, “One…”

Everyone stops crying and chimes in,  “Two…Three…Four…Five…”

I don’t know why I’ve even bothered trying, it never worked on me

“Brandice, go clean your room.”

::watching You Can’t Do That On Television::  “Ummm….later.”

“One…”

::blocking his voice from my mind:::

“Two…”

::wondering if he’s going to follow through::

“Two and a half…”

::He’s totally bluffing:: “10 more minutes”

“I said now!”

“You said, ‘Two and a half…’”

Then my dad becomes exasperated and calls my mother. Then he tells her, to tell me to clean my room. Then my mother jokes, “Brandice, I’m not going to tell you but 9 more times.”

Eventually, I got spanked, but I never cleaned my room.

It never worked on me, because rarely did anything happen once anyone counted to 3. It doesn’t work for me, because I always start smiling when they start counting. Then my “mean mom cover” is blown.

20th Apr2009

[insert post title here]

by The Boss

Yesterday, I realized that I will be 46 when Zoe is 18. That seems so weird to me. Not because that’s an old age, but because my mom was 39 when I was 18. When my mom was 46 I had 2 kids and another on the way. It just seems so strange.

Now, here is some news from our house. Some of you will be relieved while others are going to be disappointed, maybe even annoyed. My husband doesn’t think we should homeschool. I think mostly, because he knows me a little better than I’d like to admit. He really tries to support me in all my decisions, but this one he just keeps disagreeing with me on in the end. I get overwhelmed easily and start to shut down emotionally. I think he is trying to prevent as much of that as possible.

Thankfully, the materials I bought for homeschooling can all be used in school throughout the years. Over the summer, I’m going to use the math and writing curriculum to prepare Aidan more for first grade. At least that’s what I am telling myself. I bought a History and Science Encyclopedia that’s geared more towards Elementary students, so we’ll get lots of use out of those.

Moving on…

I’m going to start responding to comments right here on my blog, instead of emails. I’ve been kind of back and forth with it (or not respond at all… I’d like to give a shout out to Beth!) The reason I’ve responded mostly in emails, is because you’re not notified when someone responds to a comment here. I’m going to to fix that. Until then, you’ll have to check back.

Oh yeah. I will not be taking 3 month blogging vacations anymore. I’m back.  ::crossing fingers::

30th Mar2009

Life Lesson: Throw things

by The Boss
This video made me think of my grandmother. She passed away a few weeks ago, and I have missed her so much.
Years ago, her and my grandfather were in the kitchen eating ice cream. My grandmother started explaining to him that she was getting a piano for her music room. My grandfather did not like that idea, and apparently had no idea that a music room just wasn’t complete without a piano.
He told her she wasn’t getting a piano for any room. She picked up her bowl of ice cream, and threw it at him. Then, she got in her car a drove around for a while. When she got home, the ice cream was cleaned up and a week or so later she had her new piano delivered into her music room.
She was very stubborn and hard headed determined.
26th Mar2009

Keg

by The Boss

See, the thing is, I don’t really feel like blogging. I don’t really feel like doing anything that requires any sort of thought process.

Also, I don’t want to tweet on twitter. I don’t want to catch up with anyone on Facebook or Myspace. I don’t want to do anything.

Aidan brought a spelling test home this week. The first word on the test was keg. Neat.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll make a real blog post.

::crosses fingers::

25th Feb2009

Honky Tonk

by The Boss

southern

When I moved to Vermont in 2001, my dad could not understand why I    would want to surround myself with a bunch of Yankees. My dad also couldn’t understand why I wanted to have my babies in Vermont, because Alabama is “God’s Country.” I love the south and I love being a Southerner. I love Southern Food ( Check out SouthernPlate.com!) The North isn’t all that bad though.

I’d like to dispel the myth that all Northern places are cities, and Northerners know nothing of “country life”. This is very hard for my grandmother to grasp. She likes to say things to Ben like, “Bet you aint ever seen hay before.” The town Ben grew up in is like the size of Opryland… maybe. You will find the following things; An adorable community church, where I tied the knot; A post office inside of a general store; A Brigham Young memorial; A park, 2 lakes, Farms, and People. It’s more country than any place I’ve ever been in Alabama, Tennessee and even Mississippi. Now, I know that might be a hard thing for some of you Southerners to swallow. I know you don’t want the North being more country than you are, but it’s time to come to terms.

When I lived in Vermont, I missed the South terribly. Me, my sister-in-laws, and our friend Bekah went to  see Sweet Home Alabama in the theater. I was so freaking obnoxious through out the entire movie. I am 100% certain that Jenny may have wanted to punch me in the face. When the guy said, “You can take the girl out of the Honky Tonk, but you can’t take the Honky Tonk out of the girl” I almost cried.

Ben and I argue about the correct terms of things all the time. I call blankets on the floor “a palate.” He calls blankets on the floor, “blankets on the floor.” I say things are “in the floor” and he says they’re “on the floor.” I call the metal rectangle object on the back of my car “a tag” and he calls it a “license plate.”

Ben always knows when I am talking to my family on the phone because my Super Strength Southern Accent kicks into gear, and he can’t understand a word I say. The funny thing is, my family can’t understand a lot of what I say either. Most still think I sound like a Yankee. My “Yankee Voice” is from working in a gift shop in Vermont and no one being able to understand me. So, I adapted. Now, no one understands me.

Oh,  yeah… something else the South needs to know. I’m no expert, so don’t think I am getting a big head here, but Vermont is a STATE.

Car Insurance Sales Woman: “Mrs. Senecal, do you have insurance on your cars now?”

Me: “Yes, they’re insured through a company in Vermont”

Car Insurance Sales Woman: “Yes, ma’am. Where is Vermont?”

Me: “Ummmm…Right beside New York”

Car Insurance Sales Woman: “Oh OK, so it’s in New York state.

Me: “Ummm…No. Vermont is a state beside New York state.”

Car Insurance Sales Woman: “OH! Well, that shows how smart I am.”

“Yes ma’am it does”

Now, I would have looked over that if it were an isolated incident. But it’s not.

13th Jan2009

I’m getting really tired of having to name posts.

by The Boss

This morning, I loaded the kids in the car, buckled them in, and put the car in reverse. I put my foot on the gas pedal, and as the back tires of van touched the edge of my driveway, Andrew said, “Are we there yet?”

“No! We’re not THERE yet!”

Andrew is amazing. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things like, drinking water; changing the Thomas shirt he’s worn 5 days in a row; cleaning his room; punching his brother in the head; and treating our visitors like they are the monkey bars at a play ground.

I do however agree with him 100% when he says things like, “Mommy, I’m a great boy!” or “Mommy, I’m awesome! or “Mommy, are you crazy?”

Now, I need your help. I’m writing a guest post for The Cupcake Cafe. She said I could write about anything, which made me think of being in my English class in High School, and the teacher would say, “Write a paper, about whatever you want.”

“Can’t you give us something specific? You really expect me to really just think of a subject, and THEN write about it?”

“Fine, write an argumentative essay about the lottery telling me why you think it should be legal or illegal in Alabama.”

“I’d rather write about the mental anguish and unnecessary  harm that homework assignments have caused me and my family.”

“Too late.”

So, I said that to say…

Give me some ideas, or I might ask Tara and then she might give me a topic and then I might not want to write about that. In general, I don’t write about “topics.” No, that would require commitment and focus. Two things, I don’t have. Also, most likely I wont write about the topic you suggest either, but please, just cooperate. Don’t make me beg.

07th Jan2009

It could be a long day.

by The Boss

Tonight is Friend Night. That is just a friendly reminder, in case friend Ben is reading. We changed the day this week, because my in-laws are coming in tomorrow night. So, he asked me to remind him, like I would EVER let him forget. So, I’ve reminded him by a text message, a tweet, gtalk, email, and now a blog post. I like to give him that feeling that I am inescapable, because I am. I’d like to think that creeps him out just a little. ::insert evil cackle here::

I woke up a whole hour late today. When I wake up late on school days, I try to convince myself that Aidan has a cold so I don’t have to even bother. I’ll say something like, “Aidan we have to go really fast this morning or you’ll be late for school.” And then I’ll say, “Do you just want to stay home today?” It never works, she loves school. Then I’ll say, “Does your throat hurt?”  “Nooooo  mommy!”

I’ve been looking for reasons to get out of school since I was in Kindergarten. I usually succeeded too. I just told my mom that I didn’t feel good and then I give a fake little cough, and I’d be watching You Can’t Do That on Television, all day long. Thankfully, Aidan loves school. So I wont be teaching her how to write her own excuses in 4th grade, like my mom taught me.

My mom would also be like, “you want to stay out of school today and go shopping?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Of course, I would want a friend to go, so we would talk Bekah’s mom into letting her go too. [Hi Bekah!]

So, that’s why I am unreliable and unable to commit to things. But I am happy with it. I’d like to think it makes me unique.

Note: To leave a comment on a featured post, you just click on the title. Sometimes, I forget to put a title on a post and that makes it difficult for people to leave comments on featured post. Now, as soon as you leave a comment you may return to your life, but not until you leave a comment.

…and yes, I am talking to you.

22nd Dec2008

A very random Monday

by The Boss

First of all, let me just say that I plan to remain in my pajamas the entire day. I may get dressed to go to Hobby Lobby today, but I am considering making the trip in my pajamas.

Friday night was the Ugly Christmas Sweater party. If I decide not to be lazy today, I will share some pictures of what I concocted. First Aidan told me I looked like a rockstar. I think she said that because my hair is purple and black. She asked me where I was going, so I told her.

“Why are you going to a ugly party?”

“Because it’s fun.”

“What do you do at an ugly party?”

“See who can wear the ugliest Christmas sweater.”

“Well, you look ugly mommy!”

“uhh…Thanks?”

“Yeah! You look really ugly!” [This is the point she realizes saying "ugly" is fun.]

She knew that was the goal of the party, so she thought she was encouraging me. At first she was, but then…

For the 40th time: “Mommy, you look really ugly.”

“Aidan, you’re starting to give mommy a complex.”

“What’s a complex?”

Ben pipes in: “It’s a building.”

Saturday, we had Christmas with my dad’s family. It was fun. I love to be around my cousins. They’re the closest thing I had to siblings growing up. They used to be so easy to trick, not so much any more. Once I caught my one of my cousins smoking behind my grandmothers house. He immediately offered me money not to tell. I wasn’t planning on blackmailing him, but he offered, so I accepted. I think maybe, that I used to be mean or something. Fortunately, I grew out of all of that.

Today’s the first official day of Christmas break for Aidan. I love Christmas break. Every year, for 13 years, you get out of school for 2 weeks. You got to college and you get an even longer Christmas break. Then you start your real job, and when this time of year comes around, you expect your Christmas break. I feel like, everyone should get 2 weeks paid vacation this time of year. Even those poor retail workers. Get your shopping done early and let these poor people have a break.

Either my head is still foggy from this cold, or the few brain cells I have left after having 4 children, have finally thrown in the towel. I feel like a zombie.

As the new year approaches, I think back to 1992 on New Years Eve. I was a very dramatic 12 year old girl. I laid in my bed and cried because I felt sorry for 1992, and thought it was horrible that we had to say goodbye to it. I was singing that Boyz II Men version of the song, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye, to Yesterday.”

15th Dec2008

I learned a lot this weekend

by The Boss

Note: I have 2 cousins who I will call K and H for this post. H is the older sister of K. :) Carry on.

Saturday was Christmas with my moms family. Apparently one of my younger cousins, K,  has been bitter all these years due to some remarks I made as a child and teenager. I think my favorite was when she told me, that I told her, “You can’t ride in my car, you’re not a teenager.” Teenagers are the picture of stupidity.

K’s the same younger cousin that told the neighbor to go to “you know where.” She also flipped off a school bus full of children. Which was bad for her since her mother was a teacher then. They all exited the bus and went straight to my Aunts classroom to tell on her.

One magical Christmas, so long ago…well it was magical for H and K anyway, Santa brought them the Nintendo. Santa also brought my other cousins a Nintendo that same Christmas. I guess Santa didn’t like me as much as he liked them. I never got a Nintendo…ever.

Apparently, K found that it was unfair for me and H to play Nintendo without her. This isn’t true because we clearly let her play with the Duck Hunt gun. It may not have been actually plugged into the Nintendo, but it’s still part of the Nintendo and we let her play.

These were H’s rules. She played Mario, I played Luigi, and K got the gun. Now, this is the part where my bitterness comes in. In order for me to actually get a turn playing Luigi, H had to mess up and kill Mario. This NEVER happened, because H never died. She’s like the James Bond of Super Mario Brothers. If she did let me play Mario, I’d die almost immediately. There was never a reason for me to even bother. Which is why I think she let me be Luigi in the first place. If by some chance she did die, she wouldn’t have to wait long for me to die, then it would be her turn again.

I will take credit for the stone retainer wall we tore apart in order to find hidden treasure (they got in SO much trouble for that); jumping from really high places because I was convinced we could fly if we’d just climb higher and try harder; setting traps in the woods to catch a pet bunny rabbit; playing on top of waterfalls; and not letting K play with us unless she jumped in the pool in the middle of winter. I will not take credit for the Nintendo incidents, I will blame H.

09th Dec2008

I quit.

by The Boss

I give up trying to clothe someone who will not keep their clothes on. Zion is at the kitchen table having a snack…and he’s naked. He likes it that way, and cares nothing for clothing. I care nothing for picking up his clothes that he has thrown around the house immediately after I put them on him.

I know people who visit our house think I just don’t care about him because every time someone comes to the door he is practically naked…. OR he’s wearing his sisters clothes…When he wears his sisters clothes you can tell people are trying not to make a face. They seem so confused like, “don’t you have 2 boys? wait that is a boy…right?”

Is this genetic? We used to have a hard time keeping my younger cousin in clothes. I remember it had snowed one day, and she was walking down the driveway in nothing but a tshirt and panties. The neighbor told her to put some clothes on, and she told the neighbor to go to hell. She was like 4 or 5, she didn’t mean it.