My First Fight

This picture was purchased with fresh hair cuts and a trip to Rosie’s, and it was worth every dime. We ended up learning so much. For example, I learned that there are memes out there that are “more stale than an old bag of chips laying under your bed.”

Our meme discussion came to an end, when a freshly fired employee was being escorted out of the business saying, “F*** this! And f*** that! See ya! And F*** you!” All of that led to a conversation about how not to leave a job even if you do get fired. Then on to fights that happen at school, which led to me telling the boys about a few fights that I got in.

The first fight I was ever in happened in fifth grade. I lived across the street from my school, and had walked over to play on the play ground. My friend showed up, and we were playing like normal. She was new friend…at least I thought we were friends. I’m sure we had just grown apart and were going in different directions in life, but it all felt so sudden. She looks at me and says, “Let’s fight!”

I was so surprised by her words, and I couldn’t understand why she would want to fight. Hind sight, I’m sure I was completely jacked up on Dr. Pepper and was probably a complete and total basket case or something. I really cant say. Maybe I deserved it. I wasn’t really paying attention to the present moment, until she hit me right in the face.

This led to one of those swinging matches, where everyone’s arms are swinging like propellers at the other person. I don’t know how long this went on. I’m not sure who won. But according to the rumor I heard at school the next day, I definitely lost. Anyway, at some point we walk back over to the swings, and for a moment I think we are just going to forget this ever happened, and go back to being friends.

I sat down on the swing, and pushed myself off. My bad perm blowing in the wind. But with every swing, I became so enraged that I wanted to grab hold of the swing set pole, so that I could push myself in her direction and my feet would hit her right in the stomach. So, that’s what I did. Then we were right back to the propeller arms.

The Brawl at Threadgill finally wrapped up, and I walked back across the street and crawled into my bed. Not knowing what the next day at school would bring, I just wanted to die.

“I heard she kicked you to the curb!” That’s what I heard ALL DAY. But it wasn’t that bad actually. The bell rang, and I was so relieved that I had made it through the day without crumbling. Then, as I’m walking out of the school, my eyes landed on my old friend and then the worst thing that I could imagine happened. Not only had my mom found out that I had gotten into a fight, she found out who I had gotten into a fight with.

My mom was standing there, with her finger in this fourth grader’s face. (Did I mention my friend was a fourth grader? She was a whole grade younger than me, and that really added to my embarrassment level.) My mother is YELLING at this girl, in the middle of every other kid at the school, their parents, teachers, people in the car line are rolling down their car windows so they can hear what’s going on… My own teacher was completely shocked because she didn’t even know about the fight. No one knew what was going on. “DON’T YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON MY DAUGHTER AGAIN, OR I’LL…..” I blocked out the rest. I was mortified.

It was my babysitter who had told my mom about the fight, but I still don’t know how mom knew which kid to point her finger at. Thankfully, not long after that, I ended up giving lice to the whole class and everyone forgot about my mom with her finger.

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