17th Aug2010

And The Crowd Goes Wild!

by The Boss

On Monday, we started our new homeschool year.  If the rest of the year is anything like the last two days, we are going to have so much fun!

Yesterday, the boys started learning the letter “I”. We sat down, and I showed them how to write it. I told them that capital “I” was like a tall man with a straight line for a hat, and a straight line for his shoes. Lowercase “i” was a short man with a little hat…or something like that. Then we went over the sound that “I” makes, and did some other things.

At the end of our little lesson, I said to Andrew, “OK! Now tell me what letter we learned today.” He looked at me and with a huge smile, he said, “The tall man with the hat!”  “Yes, Andrew, but what is the letter’s name?” He thought for a minute, and replied, “K!” He laughed. I asked him again, “What letter did we learn today?” He said, “Hmmm…let me ask Zion. Hey Zion! What letter did we learn today?” Zion smiled this huge smile and said, “K!”  Then they both just laughed a lot. I asked him again, “Do you think you can tell me the name of the letter we learned today? He thought for a second and said, “Wait Mom. Let me talk to my brain. My brain knows the name of the letter but he wont tell me.” Then he spoke to his brain, “Hey Brain! Do you think you can tell my Mom the name of the letter we learned today?” Then he looked at me and said, “Sorry, Mom. My brain said no. Maybe you should just tell me again.” I told him. He laughed…no…cackled and ran off to play.

I should say, that I wasn’t bothered that he didn’t know the name of the letter. He knew the sound it made. We were just having fun. So, today, we learned more about the letter “I” and numbers and all sorts of fun things. Later in the day, the boys were playing with their Lego’s and I told them they should build a capital “I” to show their dad when he got home from school. I told them not to worry about making a lower case “i”. Mostly because I didn’t think there was a way to make a lower case “i” with Lego’s. Obviously, I didn’t play with Lego’s very much as a child because 3 minutes later, Andrew popped up with these…

I kissed his face and told him how smart he was, and he said, “It’s OK Mom. I know I’m smart. You don’t have to kiss me.”

I assume Andrew is enjoying school because every so often he get’s excited and yells, “And the crowd goes wild! SCHOOL! SCHOOL! SCHOOL!” I’m assuming Zion is enjoying school too…

Category : Homeschool, Raising Boys
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20th Nov2009

RRRRESCUE PACK!

by The Boss

Andrew recently turned 5. Everyday for the last 3 months he has asked for a RESCUE PACK!

Note: For the purposes of this blog post every time you read RESCUE PACK! you have to throw one arm in the air as you leap for joy at the mere mention of…testing…1…2…3… RESCUE PACK!

Also, RESCUE PACK! is not a word that you say. It is a word you scream…no. Squeal. And you have to squeal it RRRRRRRESCUE PACK!

So, like I was saying, everyday for the last 3 months he has asked for a RESCUE PACK! Anytime we went to the store and someone approached us to compliment me on how awesome my children are, before anyone could speak Andrew would say…. “I’m getting a RESCUE PACK!”

When the man who was walking around our neighborhood passing out fliers for his church knocked on our door, Andrew answered and greeted him without taking a breath… “Hi! What’syourname? I’m getting a RESCUE PACK!”

When Andrew went with his father to Wal-Mart and Andrew spotted a lady in the store who had a RESCUE PACK! in her shopping cart, he did not hesitate in asking her for it. When this lady told Andrew that it was for her 3 year old son Will, Andrew decided within himself that Will would come to his birthday party and Will would give Andrew his RESCUE PACK!

I think Ben and I were equally surprised when we actually bought Andrew a RESCUE PACK! We make it a habit to never give into our children’s forty-five dollar deepest desires. I mean, we don’t want then to be spoiled or anything. I think we were hoping that actually buying it for him, might get him to shut up about it. And of course, that backfired.

The morning after Andrew’s birthday, RESCUE PACK! was at the breakfast table waiting on his milk and cereal with the rest of them. Then RESCUE PACK! wanted snack…and lunch…and a bath.

Now, instead of Andrew telling everyone he comes in contact with that he wants a RESCUE PACK! He tells everyone that he got a RESCUE PACK!

Category : Raising Boys
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2 Comm
13th May2009

The proof is on your face

by The Boss

When Zion has done something he wasn’t supposed to, he always leaves the evidence on his face.

“Zion, have you been eating Raspberry Cream Cheese out of the container?”

“Nope.”

“Zion, how did you get that Raspberry Cream Cheese all over your face.”

“Ummm…”

“Have you been eating Raspberry Cream Cheese?”

“Ummm…yeah.”

Later on…

“Zion have been playing with the markers?”

“Nope.”

“What’s all over your face?”

“Ummm…green marker.”

“So you were playing with the markers?”

“Aidan gave them to me.”

Even later…

“Did you eat dirt while you were playing outside?”

“Ummm…nope.”

“What’s that all over your mouth?”

“Chocolate dirt…umm…Andrew made it.”

“Gross.”

Category : Raising Boys
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5 Comm
16th Apr2009

Ingenuity

by The Boss

Even the adult boys I know will pee outside if that’s where they are when they feel the urge. I realized a little while back, that idea had not occurred to my boys yet. Then yesterday, Aidan came inside and told me a very interesting story about her brother.

“Andrew peed in a cup and mixed it with dirt to make chocolate.”

“Oh. Please go tell your Dad that story.”

Of course, Ben was proud.

Category : Raising Boys
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3 Comm
03rd Apr2009

They do say the darndest things.

by The Boss

This morning, we were sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Everything was going fine. Zoe was in her stroller just hanging out. Andrew and Zion were enjoying the fact they had my complete attention for a while. They got to take turns sitting in my lap, and manipulating my face with their hands.

“Make a fish face Mommy”

“Say ahhhhhhh”

Zion climbed out of my lap, and Andrew climbed in my lap. Andrew took his little finger, and poked my boob. Then, he said in a very loud let’s make everyone look at us voice, “They’re like mountains!” He took his fingers, and acted like they were walking and said, “See you can climb them.”

After that, he lifted his shirt to show me his chest. Then he said, “See, you try.” Nothing I could say or do, could distract him. I’m fairly certain, my face was red. I didn’t even look up to see who else had heard our conversation until we were called back to the nurse. Everyone had huge smiles on their faces.

I take comfort in knowing that I can tell this story to his first girlfriend.

Category : Internet Finds, Raising Boys
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09th Dec2008

I quit.

by The Boss

I give up trying to clothe someone who will not keep their clothes on. Zion is at the kitchen table having a snack…and he’s naked. He likes it that way, and cares nothing for clothing. I care nothing for picking up his clothes that he has thrown around the house immediately after I put them on him.

I know people who visit our house think I just don’t care about him because every time someone comes to the door he is practically naked…. OR he’s wearing his sisters clothes…When he wears his sisters clothes you can tell people are trying not to make a face. They seem so confused like, “don’t you have 2 boys? wait that is a boy…right?”

Is this genetic? We used to have a hard time keeping my younger cousin in clothes. I remember it had snowed one day, and she was walking down the driveway in nothing but a tshirt and panties. The neighbor told her to put some clothes on, and she told the neighbor to go to hell. She was like 4 or 5, she didn’t mean it.

Category : Memoirs, Raising Boys
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1 Comm
08th Dec2008

One fine day

by The Boss

It was last week, Ben and I were cleaning the house and the boys were laying on our bed watching a movie. I just got that feeling that things had been going to well. That things were way to quiet. They were. Zion had dumped a whole thing of sugar on Ben’s nightstand and the floor. It wasn’t just any sugar, it was my natural cane sugar. The good stuff. The $4 a pop stuff.

You would think after that that I would put a deadbolt on our door and never let them enter again, but I didn’t. I. Am. Stupid. Last night, they got to hang out in our room again, while we had company. They got in my craft stuff, and dumped 100,000 craft sticks on our floor, followed by 300,000 tiny beads.

They have been sitting in my bedroom floor ALL morning fighting over who gets to the hold the bag the craft sticks go into, trying to eat the beads and breaking my paint brushes. They have rolled around on the floor, stood on their heads, pulled each others hair, but they haven’t picked up anything.

I was taking care of Zoe when I realized that they were being very quiet, so I went to check on them. I walked into my room, and saw they were hiding under the covers on my bed. My heart melted, they had been playing hide and seek and I didn’t know. So I pulled back the covers, and it turns out they were hiding but they were not wanting me to seek. They had grabbed some homemade bread off of the counter and were eating it in my bed.There were breadcrumbs everywhere. This is going to be a long day.

This is the part where I get slightly dramatic, I don’t like this part, so we’re going to go quick. Someone said to me once, “The days are long but the years are short.” One day, I’m gonna wish my boys were here, eating bread in my bed. I’m going to miss all of this (I feel a Trace Atkins song coming on.)

I am sure the boys will be off somewhere, doing there own thing one day. I hope when they get done doing there own thing, they find their kids eating bread in their bed! I hope they call me to complain about it, because I am gonna laugh at them, and then I’m gonna buy my grandkids a ginourmous box of craft sticks…ginourmous.

Category : Raising Boys
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4 Comm
02nd Dec2008

First Annual Barn Raising

by The Boss

I offer water to my kids all the time. Aidan loves it, the boys on the other hand feel like they are being punished. The very mention of the word water can send Zion to floor and induces some sort of seizure like reaction.

These glasses of water that I offer are clean, purified, and sometimes even more purified with our reverse osmosis filter. This water is offered in cool Diego or Cars cups. So, can you tell me why Zion has no problem what-so-ever drinking bathtub water out of a dirty duplo?

I’m thinking of embracing this and just giving them a trough of water and throwing some raw vegetables in there. Maybe throw a barn up in the backyard, with some hay beds for them. They would think they were living the life, and I’d have a clean house. I can’t see why this shouldn’t be done. A barn would compliment my neighbors tennis courts. It would also occupy the kids and they would stop asking the neighbors why they were playing soccer and the neighbors wouldn’t have to say, “It’s called tennis!” My kids wouldn’t respond with, “Is that a soccer ball?” Everyone would be happier.

Category : Raising Boys
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2 Comm
01st Dec2008

Not a creature was stirring…

by The Boss

So I figured the boys must be up to no good. I found them under their bed, being ever so still. At first I thought they were napping. Then I realized they were just trying to be invisible so I wouldn’t notice that they had gotten suckers and were eating them under the bed. So I was mean, and took their candy away.
Not 10 minutes went by, when it was suddenly peaceful again.I found them in the same spot, but they didn’t see me. I decided I needed a moment of peace so I just left them there. They’re still there, and I am enjoying this so much I may just slide the whole bowl of candy under the bed and take a nap.

Category : Raising Boys
0 Comm
05th Nov2008

Maybe I’m Just Ovulating

by The Boss

I love my kids. LOVE them. But the past few days, I have loved them so much that my eyes literally well up with tears and my heart fills with pride every time I look at them.

I could not have been more proud of Zion last night as he mischievously ever so sweetly fed the dog pieces of his barbecue sandwich under the table, and when he saw me seeing him he just smiled this big smile that immediately threw me into some sort of emotional state where I just wanted to squeeze him till he popped.

That’s my general mood, I just want to squeeze them! I find everything they do adorable…more adorable than I normally do. They can sense it too. Zion is starting to run when he sees me looking at him for fear I might pick him up and kiss his face till it’s numb.

Maybe it’s because I know they are growing up BEFORE MY VERY EYES! Everyday that passes they are getting bigger and needing me less. Aidan is already talking about when she’s a grownup she can do stuff all by herself and she wont need any help. Mind you, she still insists on living with us because she doesn’t want to get married and she’s afraid of the dark. So that does bring me some comfort, but we all know that the moment she’s 14 she’s gonna realize that we don’t know ANYTHING and she’s just as safe in the dark without us, safer even, and that moving out right then would be her best option. Fortunately, I don’t plan on teaching her any life skills and that might slow her down just a little.

I am just full of all this extreme pride and joy where every thing they do, even the the things they should not being doing make me so happy. I just wanna have their faces put on billboards across the country with the words “I fed the dog my barbecue sandwich!” I mean, don’t you think it’s adorable? Wouldn’t everyone else agree they are the most amazing creatures ever put on this planet?

…OR maybe I am just ovulating.

Category : Daily Video, Featured, Raising Boys, The Children
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