Caution: Soap Box Ahead
Yesterday on the radio, I heard this survey done by the Tyra Banks Show and we all know Tyra’s surveys are known for their statistical accuracy. Something like 3% of girls want to be a teen mom. Regardless, of accuracy, I’ve heard of girls saying this sort of thing before. It’s something that kind of baffles me. It makes me wonder; are these girls missing something in their life that they feel they have to make up for, by having a baby? Maybe they think it will be a fun to dress up that pretty baby everyday. Do they want to feel loved? Do they want to their boyfriend to commit to them, so they want to bring a baby in the mix.Because we all know, it’s better to trap someone in a relationship with you so they can be unhappy for the rest of their lives. Add a child to that mix, and you have what we call a happy home. Let’s not leave out the grown ups who try this tactic as well.
Now, I will be the first to tell you that being a mom is wonderful. My kids make me crazy happy! At no point in this post do I want it to seem like I have a negative outlook on parenting. What I have is a realistic outlook on parenting. I heard someone say once, that they were too selfish to have kids at that time in their life. THAT is what I am talking about. I didn’t even understand what she meant by that, until I had to give up so much of my desires when Aidan was born. I’m not talking about dreams and aspirations here. I’m talking about going to the bathroom by myself; sleeping through the night; talking on the phone without being interrupted; getting in the car without having to put children in their car seats, adding 20 minutes to your outing at each stop. How about going to the emergency room in the middle of the night because your child has croup? Being scared that it could get worse but trying to keep it together for their sake. With parenthood comes responsibilities, that you need to be mature to handle. You can’t be selfish and be a good parent.
Dear Future Parent, you will get to play dress up with your baby…about 15 times a day. When the poop from your baby’s diaper travels north up to the back of their neck, soiling that cute little baby gap outfit that possibly made you want to have the baby in the first place. And just wait until they puke all over themselves, and you for that matter. You can change your clothes too. That brings me to your wardrobe. Not everyone shrinks back to that pre-pregnancy size, those maternity outfits you were so excited about, consider those your new wardrobe. Prom will be great with your baby’s daddy at your side. Assuming you can find him, and your bundle of joy in a fashionable baby wrap (don’t forget your Motrin.) You shouldn’t assume that your parents are going to babysit so you can go to prom. I was grown and married before I had kids,and babysitters are few and far between, like as far as the east is from the west far.
If you’re looking for love and think a baby is the answer, you’re looking in the wrong place. Not to say your children don’t love you, but you’re still on the giving end in this scenario. Children aren’t magically considerate. They don’t think twice about waking you up in the middle of the night for any need they have. They will wake you just to announce that they have to go to the bathroom and it doesn’t matter that they’re not required to report that kind of information, they will. No matter how many times you say, “There are no monsters under your bed OR In your closet OR in the potty waiting to bite your tush!” They will refuse to believe you, and insist on sleeping with you in your bed, with their feet in your face, and their head on your butt. It’s because of your love for them as a parent, that you don’t tie them down to their beds so you can get some uninterrupted sleep.
With that said, no one is ever ready for parenthood. See how tricky this is? All I am trying to say is check your motives when you find yourself planning a pregnancy. There, I will get off my soap box now.
Update: I feel like I should clarify that I am all about people having kids.We have 4 and love it. Family is awesome! REALLY REALLY AWESOME. I just worry about people having children for the wrong reason, and wanted to express it.
