I’m not getting any younger, and you’re old.
What do you say when your dad tells you, “Hey, if something happens to me and I die, you’ll be richer because I took out a life insurance policy.”
I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t say, “Oh, good.”
That’s what I said.
“Yeah, I was wondering how I was going to pay for that house on the lake I want.”
“Any way you can speed up the process a little?”
I didn’t really say the last 2 things. I didn’t even think them. But I never know what to say when people start talking to me about wills and what not, especially when I am to inherit something. I don’t even want to know what I will inherit. It makes me feel guilty for being alive.
Anyway, this is probably an appropriate post to mention that my mother will be 50 next month. I plan on making a huge deal out of this.
“Brandice, why would you do that to your mother?”
Because, there was a period of about 5 years that I would ask my mother and father, “How old are you?” And every year, my mom said “29″ and my dad said, “34.” Then, my mother and I would be standing in line somewhere, and some stupid man would hit on her and say, “Oh, is this your sister?” and point to me. Of course, the only answer to that question is, “yes.” Oh, and then there’s the time that we went to Panama City Beach, and we were driving down the strip and she was yelling at boys. One of those boys ended up in our car, and asked my mom how old she was, and she said “20 something” and then she asked him to call her “Deb.”
Nah..I’m not trying to be mean to her. She’s like me, she loves attention. I am sure she will love that I point out to all of Alabama that she will be “half a century” years old. I can only hope that she will return the favor to me when I am 50.
I will be 29 next month. My last year of being in my 20′s. Instead of a New Year’s resolution, I decided to make a list of things to do while I’m still young.
So here is a sample of my list:
1. Do a cart wheel.
2. Make a time capsule to open when I am 50 so I can remember the good times, and possibly become severly depressed.
3. Read the Nancy Drew series.
4. Sell lemonade from my lemonade stand.
5. Learn to whistle with my fingers.
6. Make a club house in my backyard that is for girls only.
7. Create a neighborhood gang. I want to walk around taking my fist and punching my other hand, like I am about to beat someone up with the mere strength of my youth. The youth that is quickly slipping from my grasp.
