15th Oct2010

Hello, my name is Brandice and I have a two year old.

by The Boss

Taking care of a two year old is like taking care of a drunk person. They ramble on and on but never actually form a complete sentence. Drunk people and two year olds should never drive, and neither have the ability to be logical. They pee on themselves, can’t walk in a straight line, and choose the worst times to fall asleep.  They have no concept of an inside voice, and think the world revolves around them. Both drunk people and two year olds, at least the ones I know, all prefer to be naked. They like to eat naked, and sleep naked, and play outside naked.

They only difference is that alcoholics (and their families) have a support group, but I’m not aware of any support groups for toddlers. Oh, I guess another difference is, you can’t charge a two year old with public indecency.

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