by The Boss
Do you count to 3 when you’re trying to get your children to obey you? Someone was asking me this yesterday. I’ve tried this strategy…maybe twice since I’ve had children. Both times went exactly the same way.
“Clean your room!”
“We’re playing robots!”
“You need to clean your room”
“OK”
::5 minutes later::
“Clean. Your. Room.”
Everyone starts crying, “It’s not faaaaaiiiiirrrrr!”
I start counting, “One…”
Everyone stops crying and chimes in, “Two…Three…Four…Five…”
I don’t know why I’ve even bothered trying, it never worked on me
“Brandice, go clean your room.”
::watching You Can’t Do That On Television:: “Ummm….later.”
“One…”
::blocking his voice from my mind:::
“Two…”
::wondering if he’s going to follow through::
“Two and a half…”
::He’s totally bluffing:: “10 more minutes”
“I said now!”
“You said, ‘Two and a half…’”
Then my dad becomes exasperated and calls my mother. Then he tells her, to tell me to clean my room. Then my mother jokes, “Brandice, I’m not going to tell you but 9 more times.”
Eventually, I got spanked, but I never cleaned my room.
It never worked on me, because rarely did anything happen once anyone counted to 3. It doesn’t work for me, because I always start smiling when they start counting. Then my “mean mom cover” is blown.
