You’re the boss, Brandice

I’m off like a dirty shirt

Dude and Dudettes, I want you to know that I feel like crap. I want to blog but my brain will not function.

Today I took Zoe to the doctor and we sat in a overcrowded waiting room filled with a bunch of other sick people, and one guy with an iPhone reading magazines to his 18 month old daughter. He was my favorite. Everyone else was kind of grumpy.

Then I saw the doctor, and she informed me that there was no science to cold medicine and that it probably didn’t work. It might, however, have a placebo effect and that if I needed to use some that would be fine. I wasn’t aware that a “placebo effect” worked on 5 month old babies, I also never asked about cold medicine, I asked about Tylenol. But hey, it was educational.

Doctors can be really weird. I was actually in the salon a few weeks ago, and so was this doctor. It was amusing to me, to hear her talk about all the good she felt like she did in her practice. She didn’t realize that I was the mother to 4 of her patients and that she never really did us any good. I’m planning on changing doctors soon. She seems more focused on what she knows, than she is focused on the actual patient.

That doesn’t necessarily make her a bad doctor, but it makes her an annoying one. We don’t really click, is what I am trying to say.  I don’t mean to sound so mean, but she’s been mean to me a few times, and obviously I’m still bitter.

My boys went to stay with their Aunt Laura this morning. I was trying to wake Andrew up to get him dressed. I tried everything from tempting him with food to a firm “get up now!” But when I said, “You have to get ready to go to Aunt Laura’s!” His popped up so fast he almost knocked me out. When he sat down at the breakfast table, I heard him say, “Aunt Laura’s house is going to be perfect.”

AND THEN he dressed himself without any complaint. AND PUT HIS SOCKS ON. It was “My Birthday Month Miracle.”

That’s right people, February is my birthday month. And yes, I celebrate all month long. This tradition has been going on since I met Mia when I was 14. See, her birthday is also this month and we insisted on making it known to the world. She doesn’t like people to know about her birthday anymore. So, I am not allowed to tell you that it’s February 23rd, the day before mine. Sorry. I’d love to be specific about it, but I can’t. She’s so secretive and all. Just remember that February 23, 1981 means nothing to you. Nothing.

The icing on the cake is that Laura’s birthday is the 26th of February, and we are celebrating all month long. February is the best month to be born in. You should all consider planning your pregnancies so that your children can be born in February, the sacred month of Brandice… and Laura and Mia and love and stuff.