29th Dec2008

drama, drama, drama

by The Boss

I’d like to give you a recap of my week if you don’t mind. It’s been very eventful. You may remember that my heater broke earlier this week, and how yy brother-in-law fixed it. There is a good use for him, afterall :P

The next day, my TV broke. No big deal, but it was right before Christmas Eve and we usually watch a new movie together that night. My sister-in-law gave us one. It’s amazing. It’s like 20 years old, and it’s perfect. Plus, you feel like you’re in the 80′s while you’re looking at it, and I miss the 80′s, so it all works out.

Christmas day, I went to my “other mother’s” house. While getting out of the car, I dropped my cell phone in her driveway. I do this all the time when I get out of the car, but this time I didn’t realize it.  So, my phone sat there all night, in the drizzling rain. Here’s the thing. My last cell phone got dropped in the toilet, then my husband bought us Blackberry’s last year. The biggest reason we bought Blackberry’s, aside from the fact that they’re so much fun, was that they were a T-mobile Hotspot phone. With this phone and the Hotspot plan, we can talk as long as we want from home and not use any minutes. Without my Blackberry, I use minutes. I need to talk to Laura, A LOT. It’s how I get through the day. Plus there are those people who call, who never let you go, and that can use minutes…lots and lots of minutes. I know I could not answer the phone, but I like them, so it makes it hard. Anyway, my husband gave me his Blackberry, because I am home more. We’ll replace his when we can. Isn’t he neat?

On Friday, I was starting a load of laundry and the washing machine broke. This is the point where I finally broke down, and started sobbing. I can live without all those other things, but I want my washing machine! I was on the phone with Laura as this was happening, and she had no idea what was going on because she couldn’t understand anything I was saying, because I was crying so much. I didn’t have any clean clothes, because I am always behind on laundry.

A lot of people who go to my church will send out emails, when we need prayer. I sent out a very dramatic email, that said to pray for me because I didn’t have any clean clothes, and that they were all covered in slobber and snot. I should probably start using that gmail application for “drunk emailing” in these kinds of situations. The idea is that you have to solve some math problems before you email people. This gives you time to reconsider the email, before you embarrass yourself. Fortunately, they love me unconditionally :)

We’ve gone through so many washing machines, and I just figured out, that it’s because I really don’t know how to do laundry. I think I am putting WAY to much in there. Hopefully, I will teach my children to take care of themselves before they move out, so this sort of thing would happen a little less for them.

My “other mother” blessed me with a new washing machine. It’s beautiful and its so QUIET. We thought something was majorly wrong with it, because we couldn’t hear it. When the clothes are agitating, all you hear is a tiny “swoosh” sound.  It’s doesn’t jar the house when it starts spinning either, it’s another Christmas miracle.

29th Dec2008

No TV for you!

by The Boss

Do you ever think about how TV advertising affects your children? Aidan is a sucker when it comes to advertising. There is a commercial about Bendaroos, have you seen this one? The “Magical wax building  sticks” are for crafting, and “they never break!” Aidan tells me all the time that she needs those, because “they never break!”

“But mommy, they stick to stuff too”

“I can even color with them”

“They’ll stick to my wall, mom!”

You’ve seen the commercials where people are singing “Old McDonald had a farm” as they wash their hands. The idea is that this gets them to wash their hands for the right amount of time, to help wash away the germs. Most of the time, the boys insist on singing this as they wash their hands. The thing that bothers me about this is that I tried to get them to do this before they saw the commercial, and they would have nothing to do with it. Moms don’t know anything, the TV knows everything!

During the holidays, Aidan would tell me that I needed this scotch tape thing that went across my fingers because then I wouldn’t need help wrapping presents. She also told me that the paper cutter that went with it, cut the paper WAY better than scissors and much faster. “You need that mom, for real, you need it.”

Over the weekend we were watching a little cartoon on TV, and a Clorox Wand commercial came on. There was a very excited mom cleaning her toilet with the Wand, and it looked so easy and effortless. She was just so happy cleaning that toilet (she must have been high on marijuana.)

Aidan:”Wow mommy, you need that!”

Andrew yelling with excitement:”Mommy, do you want that for your birthday?!”

“Gee Andrew, if you ever actually peed in the toilet instead of around the toilet, then I am sure I could use that.”

23rd Dec2008

Tis the season

by The Boss

Yesterday, after my children asked me if they could wear their mittens and hats…inside, I thought I should check the thermostat to see what was up. It said it was 58, and the the thermostat was set for 65. I called my handy dandy brother-in-law, who’s a HVAC guy. He came over and then he told me a part needed to be replaced on my unit. Well, that’s fabulous.

It’s cold. Very, very cold. We have some electric wall heaters and some of those little heaters that you plug into the wall, the kind that look like little radiators. It’s not really warm enough though. My boys, the naked ones, have wanted 2 layers of clothes on since yesterday. So, I finally solved the whole “naked children” problem.

You should try it too. They wont even take clothes off long enough to change clothes. So, I’m not creating anymore laundry than I need to. When Summer gets here, I’ll go back to one allotted outfit a week…or two weeks. We’ll just play that part by ear.

I can hear little people foraging in the kitchen. I should throw some slop in the trough. Till tomorrow faithful readers!

23rd Dec2008

We don’t play around when it comes to themed parties.

by The Boss

Friday was our Ugly Christmas Sweater party. I look forward to this party all year long. I plan. I pick things up from yard sales, and thrift stores. It’s the only time through out the entire year that I am prepared.

This was my finished project:


22nd Dec2008

I haven’t forgot

by The Boss

For those of you checking on the Funny Blog award, I haven’t forotten. I’m just lazy. It wont be much longer.

22nd Dec2008

A very random Monday

by The Boss

First of all, let me just say that I plan to remain in my pajamas the entire day. I may get dressed to go to Hobby Lobby today, but I am considering making the trip in my pajamas.

Friday night was the Ugly Christmas Sweater party. If I decide not to be lazy today, I will share some pictures of what I concocted. First Aidan told me I looked like a rockstar. I think she said that because my hair is purple and black. She asked me where I was going, so I told her.

“Why are you going to a ugly party?”

“Because it’s fun.”

“What do you do at an ugly party?”

“See who can wear the ugliest Christmas sweater.”

“Well, you look ugly mommy!”

“uhh…Thanks?”

“Yeah! You look really ugly!” [This is the point she realizes saying "ugly" is fun.]

She knew that was the goal of the party, so she thought she was encouraging me. At first she was, but then…

For the 40th time: “Mommy, you look really ugly.”

“Aidan, you’re starting to give mommy a complex.”

“What’s a complex?”

Ben pipes in: “It’s a building.”

Saturday, we had Christmas with my dad’s family. It was fun. I love to be around my cousins. They’re the closest thing I had to siblings growing up. They used to be so easy to trick, not so much any more. Once I caught my one of my cousins smoking behind my grandmothers house. He immediately offered me money not to tell. I wasn’t planning on blackmailing him, but he offered, so I accepted. I think maybe, that I used to be mean or something. Fortunately, I grew out of all of that.

Today’s the first official day of Christmas break for Aidan. I love Christmas break. Every year, for 13 years, you get out of school for 2 weeks. You got to college and you get an even longer Christmas break. Then you start your real job, and when this time of year comes around, you expect your Christmas break. I feel like, everyone should get 2 weeks paid vacation this time of year. Even those poor retail workers. Get your shopping done early and let these poor people have a break.

Either my head is still foggy from this cold, or the few brain cells I have left after having 4 children, have finally thrown in the towel. I feel like a zombie.

As the new year approaches, I think back to 1992 on New Years Eve. I was a very dramatic 12 year old girl. I laid in my bed and cried because I felt sorry for 1992, and thought it was horrible that we had to say goodbye to it. I was singing that Boyz II Men version of the song, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye, to Yesterday.”

19th Dec2008

A little recap

by The Boss

On Wednesday, I went to get Aidan from school. It was a rainy, cold day. Much like every other day this week. I put Aidan in the car and was driving home, thinking about the fact I was getting my hair done at 4. I was driving on a 4 lane road with the turning lane in the middle. Is that technically a 5 lane? I don’t know, you get the idea.

I was in the far right lane, when this white car with black tinted windows pulled out right in front of me. I mean, RIGHT.IN.FRONT.OF.ME. I had to swerve to miss him. So here I am swinging my car into the left lane, not even having a chance to see if any one else was in that lane. The car, the one who pulled out in front of me, continues into the left lane as well. So I swerve to miss him or her again, and the brakes on my van locked up. At this point I was sliding across the road because the roads were so wet.

Some how, my car just stopped perfectly in the middle lane. I glanced in my rear view mirror and there were no cars in my sight. I have decided that this was a miracle. Usually traffic on this road is heavy, and there is always someone right behind me, making me a nervous wreck.

I would like to add, that up until this happened, my anxiety that is associated with riding in a car has been very low. I’ve been cruising around this last week like a newly licensed teenager. Like your average newly licensed teenager, I was a very nervous newly license teenager.

Its weird, because I kind of know what happened, but I don’t remember what happened. I am pretty sure I may have gone into shock. Everything always seems so weird when you’re in those kind of situations.

I’ve wanted to get my hair done forever, like these purple, red and blond highlights. My dad gave me my Christmas money Wednesday, so I wanted to use it on my hair. While I was sliding across the road, I remember thinking, “Not today! I have a babysitter! I want to get my hair done!”

After the car stopped, I sat in the middle lane for a while. I angrily blew my horn at the guy who ran me off the road. I think I may have actually been beating my steering wheel. I was so angry. He didn’t even stop. Now everywhere I go I look for the white car with tinted black windows. There are a lot of white cars with tinted black windows, by the way. After that, this car pulled into the turning lane, coming from the other direction. Aidan started yelling, “Watch out!” She thought the car was going to hit us head on.

I am so thankful that we didn’t get into an accident. It was like my car just barley missed this other car. I am so amazed that I even had the reflexes to respond because my head is a fog right now between my cold and the cold medicine. I officially declare this a Christmas Miracle. I know God’s hand had to have been on us.

I did get my hair done and it’s beautiful. It’s WAY darker than it’s ever been, and that is a really nice change. I got the highlights I wanted. Today I am going back to have purple put over the blond, and put some blond in some different spots.

I think I am almost done being sick. Which is great because tonight is the Ugly Christmas Sweater party. I will hopefully be concocting something fabulous to wear. I am still looking for a sitter though…wait a minute…as I type this my mother has called and volunteered! Another Christmas miracle ladies and gentlemen!

It’s a wonderful life afterall!

Note: Blogger may be under the influence of cold medicine. This blogger does not operate well under these kind of circumstances.

17th Dec2008

Bleh.

by The Boss

Have I mentioned that I am sick? I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat and more mucus than a person should ever have. I’m really sorry for saying mucus, but you really need to get the full picture here. I felt like CRAP.

Sunday consisted of me sitting on my couch, watching movies, and doing nothing. I drank hot tea and ate chicken soup that I had made on Saturday. I yelled at the kids to stop doing whatever they were doing with what voice I could conjur up. I tried to make them be perfectly still because if they even thought about moving it annoyed me. Needless to say, I was annoyed all day. I’m very irrational when I don’t feel well.

Anyway, I thought I would be better by now. I’ve taken so much Nyquil, and it hasn’t really done anything. A family member told me to drink some moonshine. He said it’d give me a hangover, but I would be better. I don’t know what kind of connections he thinks I have, but I don’t know the local moonshine guys.

I’m going to rest today and eat lots of garlic. That way when I attempt to go Christmas shopping tonight, all I will have to do to get people out of my way is breathe on them. Fighting off infection and evil shoppers all with one stone.

On another note, if you haven’t nominated your favorite funny blog yet, you need to. I will need you all to vote soon.

17th Dec2008

Be Brave

by The Boss

A few weeks ago, I made myself a little rule and wrote it on our dry erase board. Aidan asked me what it said, so I read it to her. “No worrying allowed.” She asked me why I wrote that, and I told her that I worry to much, so I was reminding myself not to worry.

This morning we were getting ready for school. She has a field trip today, and since it had been rescheduled, I couldn’t go with her. She was telling me how brave she was thinking about being. She wanted to be brave, but she didn’t want to be brave. All of the sudden, she stopped mid-sentence and she started pointing her finger to the dry erase board saying, “You should write Be Brave on that board because… (Then she started pointing to herself) ..some people in this house don’t know how to be brave around spiders.”

16th Dec2008

Nominate your favorite blog

by The Boss

In an effort to trick you into leaving me a comment, I’m going to ask you to nominate your favorite blog that makes you laugh.  I would like to make a “You Made Us Laugh in 2008″ award for the top 10, or something like that. You get the idea. I haven’t really thought any of this through, but I never do. It’s just something I’d like to try.

Are you with me? Good. Ready, Set, Nominate!

Pages:123»