Memoirs

Zoloft Anyone?

By The Boss ⋅ November 19, 2008 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

There is this school bus that I pass daily. This lady is not afraid to run over me. I can be pulling out of a street, that she is turning on to, and she WILL. NOT. ACKNOWLEDGE. MY.EXISTENCE.

She obviously has no idea that I have major anxiety issues about any form of transportation. It all started with riding the school bus as a child. I rode 3 different buses depending on where I was going that afternoon: Mamaw Cole, Mamaw Vernie or Aunt Dianna.

I was in Kindergarten, and I would be walking to the bus and I would forget where I was going that day. I would cry. Then someone would tell me which bus to get on, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had gotten on the wrong bus.

Today, when I get in the car to go somewhere, I will check the following things 5 times:
4 children ::check::
Are my shoes on? ::check::
Did I remember my bra? ::check::

[I don't have to worry about remembering my phone or money, my 5 year old keeps tabs on those things for me]

Is Zoe really in her car seat? ::check::
Did I buckle the kids in? ::check::

You get the idea.

Then, there is the issue of riding with other people. Let me just break it down for you: If you’re driving, I’m fighting the urge to puke. It’s not personal, it’s everyone. It comes from an obsessive need to be in control. If we’re in your car, don’t ask me to drive (unless you’re physically impaired) cause I am even more worried about me wrecking your car than I am you wrecking your car.

Should I dare fly, it’s like going back to Kindergarten. Did I get on the right plane? Am I going to the right place? What if I end up in Utah?

When Ben is driving I get the idea he wants to throw me out…at the end of a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, and drive away at a high speed. I am constantly slamming on my imaginary brakes, hiding my face in my hands, pointing out the red lights and the other cars in road that are stopping.

If I had AdSense on my blog right now, I am sure their would be an advertisement for Zoloft.

NOTE: after writing this I remembered that I wanted to add adsense to my blog. So I did. I was wrong. No Zoloft ads.

Tags: zoloft